She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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