i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
