OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
