i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
