i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
