Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
