I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
