I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize