I didn't shave. On purpose
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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