real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Rumble strips road head = magical
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
