omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
