and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
