Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
