remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Randomize
