..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
