just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
