But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
its liver damage thursday
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
