What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
