I accidentally had phone sex last night
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
