do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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