she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
