How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
