good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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