I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
