A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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