Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
