I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
