Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
