Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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