; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
