nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
