If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
