If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
