In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
