I think i peed on brittanys purse
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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