I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
