Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Randomize
