I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
