is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
