you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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