i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
