I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
