you guys were way drunker than both of me
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Girls should come with a carfax report
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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