belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
