I think I won the penis lottery.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
