Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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