Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Randomize
