A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
