I accidentally burped into my bong.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
