Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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