what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
