Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
