Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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