Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
